What would Jesus do about a difficult person in your life?
Jesus kept difficult people close on purpose, including one who would betray him, and he was patient with them without being passive. He also withdrew regularly, said no, and let people walk away when they chose to. Both things are in the gospels: he did not avoid difficult people, and he did not let them run his life.
What Jesus said
The twelve were not an easy group. They argued about rank, misunderstood him constantly, wanted to call down fire on a village that rejected him, and one of them was stealing from the shared purse. He kept teaching them anyway.
He also had limits. He withdrew to lonely places repeatedly, sometimes leaving crowds who wanted more from him. In Mark 1 people are looking for him and he leaves for the next town instead. He said no to the request in front of him because of the larger assignment.
When a rich young man could not accept what following would cost, Jesus let him go. The text says Jesus loved him, and also that he let him walk away. He did not chase, argue, or lower the bar.
And in Matthew 10 he tells his followers that when a house or town will not receive them, they should shake the dust off their feet and move on. That is not bitterness. It is release.
The hard part
He washed the feet of the man he knew was about to hand him over. There is no reading of that scene where difficulty excuses you from love. But he also did not stop Judas or pretend it was fine. Holding both, real kindness and clear sight, is much harder than either the doormat version or the cutoff version.
What this looks like today
- •Separate the person from the pattern. He kept loving people whose behavior he named accurately.
- •Withdraw on purpose rather than resentfully. Jesus left crowds regularly and it was not a failure of compassion.
- •Let people make their own choice. He let the rich young man leave without softening what he asked.
John 13:1-17, Mark 1:35-38, Mark 10:17-22, Matthew 10:11-14
Go deeper: this comes up in the 40 days